well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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