Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
