You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
