Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
