He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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