We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
