he shaved USA in his pubs
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Bring me that man meat
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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