Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
