so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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