i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
