Umm I'm too high to move.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
