Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
