Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
