I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
