The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
