You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
