But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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