i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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