She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
