no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
