I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
