just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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