Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
