Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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