he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
