Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
