There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
