32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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