it wasn't lemon gatorade
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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