soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
