'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
