just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
