so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
