Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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