well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
