just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
