About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
