i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
