Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
