the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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