How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
