what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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