Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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