So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
