Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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