Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
