Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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