Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
