so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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