Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The uberlube is also flammable
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
